Saturday, July 27, 2013

The Pact

After I got engaged one of my best friend's said to me, "Please don't get pregnant before I get married."  We live in different states and she said that the only way our kids would get to be friends is if they went to college together.  Clearly kids were not on my mind then and I happily agreed.  There might have been drinking involved.  Heavy drinking.

She got married May 2012, which conveniently happened to be right before we starting TTC.

This past March her husband arranged a surprise weekend trip for her 30th birthday in Chicago.  She and one of our other best friends stayed up night after night, drinking and talking and drinking some more.  It was after that trip that I had my first visit to the RE.

She just called me.  Twice.  I was hoping she was calling to say she was in town... sometimes they have last minute family trips to her husband's parents' condo in Ft. Lauderdale.  She's pregnant.  It wasn't planned (ahhh to be so lucky), but of course they are so excited.  Now that I'm typing it, I'm starting to get emotional, but as I was talking to her, I was 100% completely happy for her.  She did however make a comment that now I need to get working on babies but immediately retracted it.  She obviously doesn't know about our past year.

I started getting cramps yesterday, which is consistent with the past failed cycles.  I'm about 90% sure that I'm going to skip the beta blood work on Thursday.  I think I'd rather just wait the 3 or 4 days for my period than sit around all day hoping for even the smallest, tiniest glimmer of a chance that it will be good news.  It won't be.

I think what I'm most annoyed about is that since I was told to skip next month (Doctor Dad emailed me yesterday afternoon to see how I was feeling and I asked if that was really necessary) that I'm now looking at having a summer baby.  Clearly, that is THE MOST rational thing to focus on right now.  Not the fact that I'm frustrated, tried of taking medication, tired of being molested every week at the doctor, or the fact that I am more terrified day after day that I am never going to get pregnant.  As a teacher, that's just not the ideal situation.  Nothing against all you summer babies out there, but being the youngest in the class is not ideal (honestly... neither is being the oldest in the class!).  Plus, since I get 10 weeks off, schools don't always understand your want/need to take off time from your job.  I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but since I've learned how expensive it is to live in Miami (or anywhere, really), I don't know if that would be the best financial choice.  Although at this point, if I do actually ever have a baby, I'm not sure I would ever be able to leave him or her at home or at a day care.  Or anywhere.  I'm already overprotective and a baby hog.  And I don't even have my own baby to hog.

2 comments:

  1. I was always the youngest in my class, and it never bothered me. I was often proud of the fact! I know my experience isn't everyone's, but it's definitely a possibility. And I'm a December baby; I've always been jealous of people who could have pool parties and ice cream cake for their summer birthdays. Hope that makes you feel a little better :)

    People in my life keep having accidental babies. I want to scream with each new, "Can you believe it?! We weren't even trying!" Ugh. I hope your friend doesn't get to you.

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  2. I was always the oldest. I loved that. I was first to drive, and able to vote in the 2004 election when none of my school mates could. :)

    As for overprotective and baby hog, it's like you're describing me!! I'm the biggest baby hog. I do it to all babies I'm around.

    I know what you mean about day care vs. stay at home mom. I know it would be much more difficult financially if I didn't work, but I couldn't imagine anything other than staying home with my baby.

    Good luck on the rest of your TWW!

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