Back to School Blues

OMG I cannot believe I have not read blogs in a week and haven't posted in almost 2 weeks!  School started here on August 19th and I have been EXHAUSTED and missing summer.  It was so nice being able to leisurely do my two errands, clean the house, and make dinner.  WAS.  SIGH.  I can't remember the last time I made dinner.  Although that is partly due to my not wanting to smell food, which appeared in the middle of last week.  Tomorrow marks 8 weeks, which I'm sure makes some of reading this want to punch me in the face.  It's okay, I've had that feeling too.  My last post consisted of me ranting about how NOT slap-happy I am.  I am still not feeling that way, but please don't think that means I do not want to be pregnant.  I really never thought I was going to get to this point (dramatic, I know) and it's still pretty surreal.  I'm also scared that if something were to happen I may not be able to recover.  Or get to this point again.  So many thoughts and fears--which is why it's somewhat reassuring to know that I have not connected with this raspberry-sized life inside of me.  I have another ultrasound scheduled for this Friday, which will hopefully end with my RE dismissing me from her office.  My next appointment with Midwife Mom is 2 weeks from today, and I get do this Panorama blood test that basically checks for all potential genetic issues and can determine the gender.  The results take 10 days, so we scheduled the test at 10 weeks, which is the earliest they can do it, so that we have the results back by Mr. Desperate's birthday, which is when we plan to tell family (besides parents and siblings that we will tell a little before... I think.  Still debating on that actually.)

Mr. Desperate and I did finally book flights home (my home, his home is here) so we could tell my parents in person.  I am having a hard time remembering my mom doesn't know and have to think carefully when I'm talking to her.  I wasn't feeling so great on Saturday when we were talking and she asked if everything was okay.  I had to stop myself and just said that my voice was tired from talking all week at school (also very true).

My sister's almost 2-year-old had some stomach thing Sunday/Monday but was generally feeling okay.  My sister sent a picture to my parents of the baby holding a thermometer with a huge smile on her face and my dad's response was, "Is that a pregnancy test?"  My response was, "If she is pregnant, then I need to know her secret!" (Yes, I know completely inappropriate and disgusting.)  My sister's response, luckily, while I was sleeping, "She's smiling because she knows your secret--that you're really pregnant!"  Good thing I was asleep when she sent it because it was easier to get out of the conversation the next morning.  I'm also having a hard time remembering that my sister doesn't know.

What happens when everyone knows?  Are they going to call me every day and ask me how I'm feeling?  Touch my stomach constantly?  I don't really like attention, nor do I love people touching me.  And while I love babies, I have never been one to be overly excited about anyone's pregnancy.  In fact, I specifically remember my mother-in-law saying something to my husband about my lack of excitement when his sister was pregnant.  I like babies people.  Once they're out.  Not while they are cooking inside of you.  I know, I know.... cry me a river. 

Speaking of Cry Me a River, remember about 3 weeks ago when I posted that my father-in-law got tickets to Justin Timberlake and Jay-Z's last concert of their tour?  And there was a potential back stage/meet JT?  Well we met him!!  Before the concert there was a tasting of his tequila--901--with about 20 people.  No joke.  We were hanging out waiting for him to appear, when all of a sudden he was standing in the doorway.  I had that dumb moment, where I looked over and thought, "That guy looks familiar."  Idiot.  So he walks in the room and the first person he says hi to and shook hands with is none other than Mr. Desperate himself!  He went around the room shaking everyone's hand (I was person #3--very important!) and then had a drink while telling stories about the behind the scenes of tequila making.  Not the coolest thing we've ever done, but pretty damn awesome.  Mr. Desperate wanted to know why he wasn't dressed better.... see for yourself!!

*P.S.-If you happen to know me in real life, please don't out my condition or private thoughts.  Also, I wonder how Justin would feeling knowing that I posted a picture of us (I cropped out Mr. Desperate and his father) on my blog!